“We complain about how lonely technology makes us and how awful social media can be. But this is often a loneliness of our own making. We fuel our own jealousies, don’t know how to limit our own obsessions, binge and purge. We make a thousand “friends,” though we scoff nervously at the notion of a real connection. There is nothing so worthy of an eye roll as someone using technology to be sincere, and yet on any given Saturday night there we are, a nation of us, checking in and tweeting our hearts out in hopes that someone will know where we are, and respond. It’s not technology that’s making us lonely. Most often, we just are lonely. What we do with technology is up to us.”

—Leah Reich, Disconnect

A beautiful piece on social media and technology and life and sickness and emotion and connections. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

“Instead of thinking about virality, I think the focus should be on what makes something worth sharing to begin with. I think emotion plays a big role. What do people really love, what gets people to feel something, what sorts of experiences can you give people that they would want to give to someone else—could be a laugh, or a moment of feeling connected to something, a moment of a guilty pleasure, a moment of finding out something about yourself and wanting to see if it is true for someone you care about. Thinking about it on a more personal level keeps the process of making content grounded in something real and approachable, and I think that results in better media overall.”
Ze Frank on virality and feeling (via texturism

(Source: brycedotvc)

“Social media has no understanding of anything aside from the connections between individuals and the ceaseless flow of time: No beginnings, and no endings.”
“It’s taking me a while, but I feel like I am getting closer figuring out how to let the parade march by and go happily along my way.”

—Andre Torrez, We Met On The Internet

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I credit a lot of wonderful things that have happened to me to connections made through these sites but on the other hand, I have a growing frustration with this feeling that we need to not only have opinions on everything but share those opinions with everyone. I’m learning it’s okay to not have an opinion; that sometimes you don’t need to share your thoughts on everything. By ignoring the noise that’s pulsing online every single day, we can focus on that which is most important.

Jonathan Harris is doing things on the web that not many are attempting. While most view social media as a way to bring us closer together, Harris feels there is a still a large disconnect, something is missing in our interactions online. To help close that gap, he founded Cowbird, a site that’s meant to allow people to share their life stories—raw and unedited, large and small.

I’ve been following Harris’s work for a few years now and am a firm believe in his mission to inject some human into our digital lives. In this talk, he talks about the ideas that led him to start Cowbird and a bit of his own story and struggles. There is a raw humanity that runs through all his work and this talk really highlights that and makes me hopeful for a better, more deeply connected online experience.

“My favorite thing about Facebook is seeing how people choose to present themselves. It’s especially interesting when my friends change profile pictures: I like imagining them looking through their pictures and finding the right one that they feel perfectly sums up how they want to be seen and then cropping it. The narrative and process behind the selection of a profile picture is really endearing.”
“Twitter — I have no idea what Twitter is. But Facebook I know, because I saw the movie and I liked the movie. So I know what Facebook is. And I have a website, which I have never seen in my life and have no idea how it works or what the point of it is, but people have done it for me.”

—Woody Allen, from this interview with MSNBC. Love it!

And as a sidenote: go see his latest film Midnight in Paris. It’s fantastic—quintessential Woody Allen.

“Some say that the problem of our age is that continuous partial attention, this never ending non-stop distraction, addles the brain and prevents us from being productive. Not quite. The danger is not distraction, the danger is the ability to hide.”

—Seth Godin on being lost in a digital world.

Having inboxes sitting there with new information all the time lets us hide from the work that really matters. How much of the time that we spend networking, connecting, and responding is really just a way to stop us from the real work? Seth goes on:

Ten years ago, no one was lost in this world. You had to play dungeons and dragons in a storm pipe to do that. Now there are millions and millions of us busy polishing our connections, reaching out, reacting, responding and hiding. What happens to your productivity (and your fear) when you turn it off for a while?

Adding to the Noise

There is a lot of talk amongst those I follow on Twitter about “noise.” Media is bombarding us from every angle and it’s hard to filter. Jeremy Cowart’s resolution for 2011 is “less emailing, more creating.” Then my pal Zach McNair responded on his blog with his desire to reduce the noise in his life:

To be honest, my mind has been contemplating all the ways that I can reduce various noise in my life. In September of this year, I was subscribed to or following countless blogs, was following over 250 people on Twitter, and read every email that came my way (including advertisements). Noise at its finest distracting me from what my clients were paying me to do – work.

I applaud both of these great fellows for their efforts. This can be hard thing to do. I’ve gone through it as I’ve essentially completely changed my online reading habits, significantly reducing the blogs I read and the people I follow on Twitter. However, I think this is only one side of the apparent “noise” problem. We shouldn’t only be thinking about reducing the noise in our lives, we should also be thinking about the noise we might be creating.

As my online reading habits changed, I started to notice another change. If I’m going to be particular about what blogs I read and who I follow on Twitter, I also need to be particular about what I am contributing and sharing and producing. I tried to stop blogging about every single cool thing I came across online. I stopped tweeting about every meal and every place I go.

I’m trying to be more thoughtful in what I publish online. For my blog, that means quality over quantity. I’m much more selective about what gets published and I try to avoid the ephemeral and trendy. If we continue retweeting, reblogging, and relinking to everything we see, post, and like, what we produce will never rise above the noise and become something lasting.

And that goes for more than just social networking. As creatives, I think that should be the goal for everything we make: to create something lasting. I don’t want my work to just be more noise in a world that is already too loud. Thoughtfulness and sincerity will always win over retweets and link-love.

The best way to reduce the noise is to stop creating it. And that’s my goal for 2011.